I hate you, couch.

Dear couch, I love you because you are so soft and cushy when I'm feeling yucky and just want to lay there. You have always been there doing your job without ever complaining. These past two weeks I have relied on your for hours at a time. For this, I hate you. I hate you because we have been together WAY too long and I'm starting to have commitment issues with you. I need to separate myself from you. I actually think I'm sore from sitting too long, when actually I should be sore from running too long. There is a serious problem and I need to work on it.

Remember, it's me. Not you. Don't take this personally. When I need you again, I will come back.

Sincerely,
me :)